I bought a bunch of sunflowers at the market the other day. I love the shape of the flower. I was searching through my flat file for a piece of colored paper to use as the background of the painting and came across a pastel drawing I did of dots, mainly to test this new paper. I had fun doing the dots and getting reacquainted with my pastels. Why not use this as the background? So, that's where the dots are coming from. I think the sunflower looks a bit weird with just the one leaf, but I wasn't thinking about it too much at the time and just painted what I saw. Looks a bit weird to me. I do have another sunflower to post and painted the flowers again today.
I've got myself backed into a corner with re-examining what my priorities are when I approach a painting. I think that I'm not putting enough thought into the planning stage, because I'm just so excited to begin that I just stumble right in. I believe that design should be my first issue that I tackle, then my color palette... But then sometimes I look at my shelves with my still life things arranged and just want to dive in and paint "THIS"!...then try to make it work somehow. I remember in painting classes being disciplined to paint something I don't really want to, learning to go beyond my desire and tackle the academics of painting head on....not to get wrapped up in the sentimentality of the things. But at home, I'm the boss, and I want to do what I want to do and, not necessarily, what would be best for my skills training. Sometimes I find it beneficial to set up problems for myself to tackle in the beginning. But then I find on most days everything is a problem in the beginning. I'm daily struggling to "find myself" and my "voice" through my painting. Isn't that enough? I know the best thing for me to do is practice and to practice everyday. On good days I SEE everything in brushstrokes. What a way to travel through life. Huh?