My day didn't start so well. I had an unpleasant dream that started me down that road of negative thoughts. So the best thing to do is get out of the house. I had 4 purchases from etsy which took a bit of time boxing everything up. Found out at the post office that, once again, I had miscalculated my shipping NOT to my advantage. I need to stop guessing and use the scale I purchased and look everything up on the computer. Then on to Trader Joe's and home. I was determined to paint SOMETHING today, and spending time working on a set-up put me in such a foul mood. I don't enjoy inventing still life set ups at all. Sometimes my execution of the paint is going well, then 3 hours into it, I realize the picture is all wrong. It just isn't balanced or interesting. Today I was thinking of what colors I wanted to use....my palette, dirty as it was, still had some mixing space left...and being too lazy to clean and begin again...SO there is a BIG problem right there. Start with a clean palette, no matter what. Sometimes I get so involved in the color mixing that I forget where I was going to put the color. My brush is loaded and ready to make my mark ...and I haven't the foggiest where that color I spent so much time mixing, was supposed to go. Anyway, the painting went a little better once I got started. It's so difficult for me. I have to focus so hard every second. It's so exhausting! I have to have an out loud dialogue with myself on all the decisions I'm making. Whew!